An Introduction to the "The Dyad."
The dyad format gives you an opportunity to go beyond mental constructs and bring your full consciousness into direct contact with the truth. Dyads can be done in workshops, weekly meetings with friends or at Enlightenment Intensives. The Dyad combines contemplation with communication - but it is not a conversation. If this is your first experience with the language of Dyads - it can look like a conversation - because half of the time you are contemplating and communicating - and half the time you are listening. But if it were just a conversation - you would have few breakthrough experiences of direct truth. All your truth would likely be indirect truths - a quality of truth not capable of carrying the full power of an Enlightenment Experience.
Even if you know the Dyad is not a conversation - there is a temptation at an Intensive to fall into a conversation within the dyad. It is an easy temptation - they are struggling to know something - and you have the answer! Oh if we could just say it to them! Resist this for their sake. Be a good listening partner. Don't fall into a conversation. Within a conversation there is a great temptation to lead the other person where you think they want to go. This process is called trip-laying. Hopefully it is not done intentionally. It is done to be friendly and to "help" the other person.
So what is the problem? We do this in everyday life - it doesn't seem to hurt anybody - does it? The point of an Enlightenment Intensive is to come into conscious union with the truth of who you are - another - love - or life. In this job you and your choices are your engine and communications is your load. The engine provides you with power - you tell what comes up to the other - and that is communication. It comes down to self and other and the proper role for each. At every Enlightenment Intensive we want to communicate personal truth. We don't want opinions or consensus unless it is on the road to personal truth. Opinions and consensus are really just garbage. We pick these up from others and they interfere with our personal truth. When opinions come up they are shared and in the sharing they are lifted out of the mind. The "charge" on these opinions is bled off and as the charge goes away they stop coming up as a result of contemplation. We only want absolute personal truth in pure form. Others can only help to keep it pure if they are willing to listen and not to teach. The problem with teaching is that it is basically disrespectful and further others don't really need it. Enlightenment is that state where you know you are complete.
Why then do you even need another in the dyad? Communication which is initiated by a person and completed - brings about a shared reality with that other. Communication which is successful also allows the person to believe it can be done again and this makes the state more achievable. We are interested in more than a peak experience - we want people to be able to re-create the enlightenment state - that true open state where truth is obvious. Further we want to create this Enlightened state in the presence of others - it isn't as much good if we can only do it while alone.
The power of the dyad comes about because people are willing to work for the other person's freedom and power. This requires a good listener who is actually open to what ever the other person experiences as a result of their contemplation. This doesn't happen if the dyad partner lays a trip and leads the other person in a conversation. Even if the intention is good - it simply doesn't work. The active person needs to lead their own discoveries with the listening partner being open enough to follow the direction set by the active partner. When done right - it allows true help - two people under the direction of the active partner. Turn taking is important - since it allows both to make progress without domination of one by the other. Domination is a trap that we have fallen into many times - and it hurts both people. Things are best when a balance is achieved - and a give and take can proceed.
Even getting tissues for the dyad partner is getting involved in their process. "Oh you poor dear. You're crying and need help." Stay out of the way. The Enlightenment Intensive facilitators will see the situation and provide tissue. Just be there as a good listener and don't get side tracked. It is so rare to have someone just listen - and not react - or take sides - or become judgmental - it can be so wonderful that crying can be good. Just let it be the way they want - and hear every word.
There is more typical example of trip laying which need to be touched on. It is the social acceptable habit of nodding while the other person talks. Even worse is to grin and to nod or to shake your head and frown. We do this all the time in our civil and social communication with our friends. A dyad is designed to find personal truth not consensus. The trip laying with nods and frowns influences the active persons direction and prevents the complete and the most real self-discovery. Being led with an other's knowledge is not the same as being free. It is more like being a child in the presence of an adult. Further it tends to jam up the mind. The reason for this is that the nature of the reactive mind is built upon opposites - often when one discovers a truth - it is immediately preceded by its opposite. If your partner agrees with your communication you will find it difficult to consider the opposite concept - which may in fact be the better truth.
The Dyad has five functions 1. Clearing the mind, 2. Increasing one's basic ability, 3. Improving your Interpersonal relationships, 4. Running a Janus Workshop, and 5. Running an Enlightenment Intensive. There is nothing mystical, technically difficult, or expensive in doing this kind of life changing work. The hardest part is just getting started. Consider finding someone who has also seen this web page and work with them one evening a week. You will be amazed at what you will find within just the first two or three weeks. Start with "confusion clearing," and don't forget to spend five minutes first asking, "Tell me what you think you should tell me," to clear the air. Remember to use your own judgment; you know yourself better than I do, and feel free to experiment.
If you can find someone who is willing to be non-judgmental it is easy to make progress on the first 4 Dyad functions listed above - but genuine Enlightenment Experiences require a concentrated effort. It takes about three days of solid work with a series of good listeners to have a reasonable shot at an Enlightenment Experience that can be life transforming in depth. The more Dyad work you accomplish outside of an Enlightenment Intensive - in general the farther you go during the three day Intensive. You know what your truth is - it just takes work and willingness to face it without excuses and blame.Next page on Dyads: Back to Home page: